


Somewhere Between Hell and Home

by eclectickathy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Clueless Ron, Courtship, Finitude, Introverts, Lovely Narcissa, M/M, Narcissa Ships Drarry, Scars, Slytherins, Solicitude, Soul Bond, The Three Gifts, gratitude
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 07:49:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5908372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclectickathy/pseuds/eclectickathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco has spent over a year torturing himself over whether or not to formally court Harry, now that he has confessed to him, what happens next? </p><p>Disclaimer:<br/>Harry knows nothing about courtship, nor bonding.<br/>None of these characters are mine<br/>Rating will change as more chapters arrive (tags too)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Will only finish with enough support, so please comment and let me know what I can do to improve!

"Draco, honestly. What's the worst that could happen?" Pansy huffed. "You've been whining for over a year now! I'm sick of it. Go tell scarhead how you feel or _shut up_."

  
Draco turned to Blaise beside her, eyes widening as he nodded in agreement. His hands were trembling with his first gift for Harry, an important tradition in courtship. The first gift, the gift of solicitude, was meant to be something generally inexpensive and meaningful—it had taken Draco nearly four months to find what he was looking for. His stomach felt hollow, his palms itchy. His nails left streaks of pink across his light skin where they landed unconsciously. Draco wasn't usually a stickler for tradition, but he thought a formal courtship might be the only way that Harry would take him seriously.

  
"Man up! Merlin, I'll jump up on the table and tell him myself!" Pansy shouted.

  
"I'm going!" Draco sputtered. Draco's gray eyes were bright and anxious in the afternoon light, his hair like a halo atop his head. The Slytherins watched Draco's receding figure, and with every step he took he could feel the eyes of his friends on his back. He looked straight ahead, trying to ignore it, even after his eyes met that of a certain brown haired boy. Draco's innards flipped and his hands shook. How was he going to do this? _Why_ was he doing this again?

  
Right. Love, courtship. How common.

  
He just had to keep reminding himself of how long he wanted this and keep the thoughts of rejection at bay. He wasn't sure what he would do if Harry rejected him. Surely, he would have to drop out of the school. The shame would be to great to bear. Draco reached the table much too fast for his liking, the eyes of too many Gryffindors on his wary expression, and held out the small emerald box to Harry.

  
"Malfoy?" Harry mumbled, his eyebrows raised.

  
"I—I wanted to—It's for you," Malfoy said softly. "You can still keep it if you don't accept I suppose, I don't know what I'd do with it."

  
"Accept what?" Ron asked dumbly, at the same time Hermione mumbled, "Merlin's beard," and brought a hand to her face to cover her budding smile.

  
Harry glanced up at Draco, eyes wide and glasses dirty with ash and water marks. A crumb clung to the corner of his mouth. Draco wanted to kiss it away.

  
"Ok," Harry said calmly. The Great Hall seemed silent as he slipped the paper off the box and opened it, the sound of his breath catching in his throat seemed to fill the room. "Is this—?"

  
"Be careful," Draco said roughly. He scratched his head, then speaking more softly. "There's something wrapped inside it as well."

  
"Could we speak alone," Harry sputtered.

  
"There have to be witnesses," Draco replied.

  
"But this is— _Draco_ —" The sound of his name on Harry's lips filled Draco with more warmth then a hundred warming charms. He took hold of that feeling, and bowed to the green eyed boy.

  
"Harry James Potter, I would like to formally declare my intention, to enter into a courtship with you."

  
Not a person in the Great Hall spoke, Draco's words hung suspended over them like the candles far above. Harry's heart beat fast in his chest, dizzy with confusion and anticipation.

  
"What exactly does a courtship entail?" Harry asked. Draco felt a spark of irritation in the back of his throat.

  
"I'm asking you on a date, Potter."

  
"I suppose it wouldn't hurt," Harry murmured. "But I don't know that I like lads like _that_."

  
"Do you accept my intention?"

  
"Can't I have a moment to think?"

  
" _Do you accept my intention_?"

  
Harry was silent.

  
"Well, I suppose I do." The crowd of students that had formed around them murmured to each other, watching as Harry stood and Draco straightened. "Could we get a minute alone?"  
Draco nodded, leading Harry through the small crowd and into an empty classroom. Harry followed, closing the door behind him before slipping into a chair and looking up at Draco, silent.

  
"I was under the impression that you wanted to speak to me about this, not just sit and stare at me in silence."

  
"It's just a lot," Harry replied. Draco sat down next to Harry, careful not to touch him.

  
"Did you like your gift?"

  
"This is Dobby's sock, isn't it? The one that freed him."

  
"I thought you'd like to have it."

  
Harry nodded, fingers running over the material. He folded it and placed in the corner of the small box, picking up the second gift. "Thank you," he said. "It means a lot."

  
"Did you like the second gift as well?"

  
Harry took out a pendant on a long black chain, careful to steady the swinging charm. "It's beautiful, but I'm not sure I understand the meaning-"

  
"It's the Malfoy coat of arms."

  
"I'm not going to wear this," Harry mumbled.

  
"It's tradition."

  
"I'm not a possession, Malfoy."

  
"I'm not trying to possess you, Potter."

  
"You're trying to mark me as your own!"

  
"You don't have any idea what I'm trying to do! I'm simply trying to appease my father, you can't think he'll be alright about this, he-"

  
"He's in Azkaban! Why are you trying to please him when he's not even here? He's where he belongs!"

  
"My father doesn't belong in Azkaban!" Draco sneered, standing up. He looked tense, like a doe about to flee.

  
"Stop being a git. This isn't about your father, this is about us."

  
"You couldn't _possibly_ understand why it matters! It's about maintaining family honor, and you don't even have a-"

  
"What Malfoy? A _family_?" Harry spat. "I can't understand because my family's dead?" He stood, dropping the box and slamming the door on his way out. Draco's face fell.

  
Harry stormed up to the Gryffindor tower, finding Hermione reading in the common room.

  
"Harry? What's wrong?" She asked.

  
"Nothing. Everything. I'm an idiot," Harry said, standing awkwardly to the side. His hands twitched has sides, his teeth grinding. "I thought he was serious."

  
"Draco?"

  
"He's terrible."

  
"A formal courtship is serious, Harry. I don't think even Draco would mess around with it. Strong magic."

  
"Magic?"

  
"Soul-bonding? The three gifts? It's very romantic."

  
" _Soul-bonding_?"

  
"Merlin, what do you and Ron do in History of Magic?" Hermione sighed. "A formal courtship starts the process of soul-bonding. There are four steps, and three of them are the gifts."  
"He gave me a gift today," Harry mused. Hermione rolled her eyes.

  
"Of _course_ he did, it's tradition! At the start of the courtship the pursuer presents the gift of solicitude, which represent being serious about the relationship, which starts the bond, which honestly is rather dangerous."

  
"He put me in danger without even telling me about it?"

  
"It's dangerous for _him_ , it doesn't hold an inkling of it for you until the second gift."

  
"And what if I want to end it?"

  
She wrinkled her nose, frowning. "You accepted his intention," she said, reluctant.

  
"But what if I wanted to?" Harry pressed.

  
"It would be very painful for everyone involved in the bond. It would be," Hermione paused. "A huge trauma."

  
"Is that the danger?"

  
"You should really talk about this with Draco," she mused.

  
"We've already established he won't tell me anything," Harry urged. Hermione eyed him warily.

  
"All you need to know for now is that he's serious, and the second gift is from you. It's very important he isn't alone in the bond for long, but before you give him the second gift, you need to be sure of how you feel about him."

  
"You have to tell me more than that!"

  
"Go talk to him Harry!" She said, settling back into her book.

  
Harry scowled, retrieving his cloak from the boys' dormitory before opening the portrait hole and slipping out. His feet hit the stone in an uneven pattern, the hollow sound bouncing off the walls of the empty hallway. Harry didn't know what to do. He felt sick to his stomach thinking about seeing Draco right now, he was sure fighting just minutes after accepting a formal courtship wasn't a good sign. It was at least _partially_ his fault. Harry sighed. _Maybe this is a mistake._

  
"Potter."

  
Harry looked up to see Draco staring at him, gray eyes alight with something like fire. His pink lips parted and then closed again, long lashes batting against pale cheeks. Harry felt a pang of something unfamiliar in his chest, something completely different then what he had felt before.  
"Listen to me, Potter, if you want out you need to get out of this now."

  
"What do you mean?"

  
"I mean that not being with you kills me more than being with you, and if you don't want this, I understand," Draco mumbled.

  
"I don't know what I want," Harry blurted. He thought he saw Draco tremble. "Draco?"  
"It hurts," he whimpered. Draco wrapped his arms around himself. "It feels like missing my wand."

  
"Draco."

  
"I know I hurt you, and you hurt me, but I can't— _I can't_ —"

  
Harry reached out a hand to Draco, moving to touch his shoulder that curled over his chest like parchment, but the blonde hair boy flinched before he made contact. "You should hate me."

  
"I don't hate you," Harry said softly. Draco swayed, his feet slipping. Harry steadied him, Draco's eyes finally meeting his, glassy. "Are you _drunk_?"

  
"Pansy had something in a bottle. I don't know, I don't."

  
"Do you feel okay?"

  
"Dizzy," Draco said, and fell forward onto Harry.

  
"Okay, I'm going to take you to my dorm before a prefect finds you."

  
"This is against tradition," he complained. Harry led him through the portrait hole and through the (blessedly) empty common room.

  
"Who cares about bloody tradition? Do you want to get yourself thrown out?"

  
"Pffshh. They're not going to kick me out."

  
"You can stay in here till I figure out how to smuggle you out of here, but I'm not sure when the rest of the guys will be back."

  
Draco sat down on Harry's bed, never breaking eye contact with the green eyed boy. Harry felt—strange.

  
"Can't I stay?" Draco asked, yawning.

  
"Then where would I sleep?" Harry pointed out.

  
"With me, stupid."

  
"Just give me a minute to find my cloak, and then I'll get you out of here." Harry rooted through his trunk, looking for the gossamer cloth. He dug through his winter garments and tossed them out by the handful, a growing pile of red and gold at his knees. "Draco, I think this'll do," Harry said, rising from his knees, the iridescent material clutched in his arms. "We can both fit under it. I'll walk you to the dungeons and come back."

  
"Mhmm," Draco mumbled, his head resting on Harry's pillow. "Later." Harry could hear footsteps coming from the common room.

  
"We have to leave," Harry insisted. Draco rolled over on his bed.

  
"Harry, mate! You around?" Ron yelled.

  
_Ron is about to find me with my Slytherin suitor, alone in our dorm_. Harry thought. _Merlin save us._ Harry knew Ron would give him that wide-eyed look he gave spiders, his mouth curling under, intensely disgusted by the thought of things that might of ( _Didn't_! Harry thought quickly.) happened in his absence. There was only one thing left to do.

  
"Move over, Malfoy," he blurted. Draco obligingly scooted over, leaving a sliver of the bed for Harry, who immediately threw himself down. He cast a quick privacy spell as he yanked the curtains closed, so fast that they still shook as Ron appeared in the doorway.

  
"Harry?" Ron called.

  
Draco _giggled_ at the outburst, and suddenly Harry was happy for the privacy spell. He leaned against the headboard, avoiding touching Malfoy in any way. _This day couldn't get any worse_.

  
"Where's Harry?" He heard Seamus ask.

  
"Beats me," said Ron. "With 'Mione I reckon, haven't seen her since we were in the Great Hall."

  
"He doesn't know we're here," Draco whispered, breath hot on Harry's ear.

  
"Stop that," Harry hissed. "Now we're stuck here."

  
"It's terrible," said Draco, and Harry nodded in agreement. "Your hair. It's _terrible_."

  
"'S not my fault."

  
"It looks so fluffy," Draco moaned.

  
"It's not really, Harry said, uncomfortable. _It's nothing_ , Harry repeated like a mantra. _He's drunk. Merlin, I wish I was drunk._

  
"Lemme touch it."

  
"W-Wait what?" Harry stammered, but Draco already had his fingers curled into Harry's hair.  
"It's like a storm cloud," Draco said, yanking Harry's head closer.

  
"Stop!"

  
Draco shoved his nose into Harry's hair, his arms wrapping around his shoulders. _This is bad, he's drunk, I should stop this, why do I feel so warm when he touches me_? Harry's face flushed as he felt Draco's steady breathing on his head.

  
"Smells good," Draco murmured. Harry squirmed under his ministrations. "It's fine, we're bonded," Harry heard him laugh above him. "Well I am. You're not."

  
Draco was still above him suddenly, frozen at his words. Harry heard him sniffle before he drew back, looking at him with his big gray eyes. He rested his fingers on Harry's shoulder, struggling to maintain eye contact.

  
"What?" Harry mumbled awkwardly.

  
"You're not going to complete the bond, are you?" Draco said, his fingers trembling. Harry felt a twinge of pain in his chest, a tightness he couldn't ignore. "You're going to make me lose it, aren't you?"

  
"Lose what?"

  
"You're so daft."

  
"I'm sorry, I just don't know much about bonding stuff."

  
"It's going to hurt so much," Draco whimpered.

  
Harry felt his breath stop in his throat. He didn't want _to hurt him don't hurt him but he couldn't do anything but sit here and let Draco be in pain—Breathe,_ Harry thought. _Breathe_.

  
"What's going to hurt?" He said calmly.

  
"The bond exposes part of it, and if you don't accept it I'll lose it. It'll just... Die."

  
"Draco, please, what is 'it'?"

  
Draco paused, folding his hands in front of him. He stared at Harry, his face solemn. "It was worth it."

  
Harry felt sick. Was Draco going to die because of him? Because he had said yes? Just because he didn't know what he was getting himself into? His heart beat faster in his chest. _What is everyone not telling me? Can a bond kill you?_

  
"I don't know what I want, I just don't want you to be hurt." Harry whispered.

  
Draco's lips fell open, his eyes on focused on Harry's mouth. He leaned toward him almost imperceptibly, Harry unconsciously doing the same. He could feel his breath on his face, just a little faster than it should be, unknowingly mirroring it as they drew closer. _He's alive alive alive alive— he's he's he's_

_  
He's mine_

  
"Stupid Gryffindor," Draco breathed.

  
"Stupid," Harry echoed, their lips brushing as he stared at Draco, eyes not yet closed.

  
"Always trying to save everyone."

  
And then he kisses him, and it's sloppy, and _bloody hell_ is Harry glad it is, he must be rubbish at kissing because Merlin no one else ever felt this good. Harry was frozen under Draco's ministrations till the boy rolled his lower lip into his mouth and bit down, hard. Harry sucked in a breath, pushing back, hearing Draco make a small sound of approval. Draco twisted a black curl between his fingers, breath like fire as he forced himself closer to Harry.

  
"Have you seen _the Prophet_? Is Draco is really courting Harry?" Seamus asked no one in particular. Harry flinched back from Draco, startled by the sound of his dorm mates around them.

  
"Don't know," Ron replied. "Seemed pretty serious this morning." Draco tugged Harry back toward his mouth.

  
"Stop," Harry warned.

  
"They can't hear us," Draco murmured, and pressed his lips to Harry's throat. A gasp slipped through his lips as he heard Rom and Seamus keep talking, oblivious to the pair of them.

  
"Did you remember to do the Transfiguration homework last night?" Ron asked.

  
"Merlin no, did you?" Seamus said, laughing.

  
"No! McGonagall nearly blew the top of the teapot we were transfiguring!"

  
"Draco," Harry urged.

  
"Where's that Gryffindor bravery now? We're just kissing."

  
"But they're my mates."

  
"It's not like I'm sucking you off or something," Draco pointed out.

  
Blood rushed to Harry's cheeks ( _and another place as well,_ something nagged). _Draco_ and _sucking_ brought a whole new slew of progressively disturbing ( _and progressively interesting,_ Harry thought) imagery to mind. That he definitely was not going to think about. Absolutely not.

  
"I need to get some sleep," Harry mumbled.

  
"You're a _virgin_!" Draco exclaimed suddenly. "You're being weird cause you're a _virgin_!"

  
"Shut up!" He hissed.

  
"They can't hear us Harry," Draco said, looking at him as if he was being an extra-special kind of idiot tonight. "Ya know, _magic_."

  
Harry slipped down between the sheets and placed his head on his pillow, facing away from the other boy. They were both silent for a moment before Draco slipped down beside him, whispering in his ear and causing goosebumps to raise on his arms.

  
"Hey," he said. "I'm not. Not a virgin." Harry felt his stomach drop.

  
_He's mine._

  
"I don't care," Harry lied.

  
"Pansy said its not good for a bond to be formed on lies."

  
"Go to sleep, Draco. You're drunk."

  
"I know," he said.

  
The boys were both quiet for a second, calm in the warmth of each other's presence. Harry could hear the familiar sounds of Ron snoring outside the curtain, hear the steady breathing of Draco behind him. He tried not to feel tense in their closeness. The silence washed over Harry, his heartbeats seemingly louder than they should be. _Calm down, Harry. Wouldn't do if he heard your heart beating out of your bloody chest._

  
"Harry," Draco whispered finally. "I want this bond with you."

  
Harry was silent, his heartbeats even faster. He felt Draco's thin fingers on his back.

"Goodnight," Draco breathed.

  
_He could be mine._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go guys! Hope it was worth the wait. I'm on the look out for a beta, if anyone wants to help me out shoot me a message please!

When Harry woke up, Draco was gone, the dorm was quiet, and rain ran down the windows of the tower. He rolled over into the now cool place where Draco had been, pressing his face into the pillow and pushing his hands under the pillow. _Smells like expensive cologne and must from the dungeons,_ Harry thought. But he wasn't already missing Draco of course ( _That would be stupid_ , Harry stressed.). Harry felt a chain under the pillow, pulling it out from under his head.

  
It was a long necklace, much like the one Draco had given him yesterday, but instead of the familiar Malfoy emblem Harry was so unfortunately accustomed to seeing, it was a new crest, bearing a cameo of a dragon and a phoenix circling one another. Between them, flowers bloomed from flames, the script below the scene reading 'Ne Cede Malis'. Harry assumed it must be Latin, though he had never taken it. He made a note to ask Hermione before they left for breakfast. He slipped the token into his robes, stretching and pulling off his pajama pants. Harry heard a sigh behind him and turned to see Ron lingering behind him.

  
"Where were you last night, mate?"

  
Harry grimaced, pulling on his slacks and shrugging on his shirt and robe. "S'pose I came back a little late," Harry said vaguely.

  
"Seamus and I were up past curfew waiting for you," Ron replied. Harry shrugged.

  
"I wore my invisibility cloak."

  
"That makes sense," Ron said warily. "Coming to breakfast?"

  
"Yeah, just a minute."

  
Harry ducked through the curtains surrounding his bed, taking the crest from his robe pocket and slipping over his head. The cord fell to his navel, so he tucked the cameo into his shirt.

  
"Ready?" Ron asked as he emerged.

  
"We should wait for Hermione," Harry said slowly.

  
"She's been down at breakfast for ages by now."

  
_Well_ , Harry thought. _Too bad_.

  
The pair ducked through the archway, Ron leading. "I can't believe you made us late aga-" Ron paused at the full common room. "What-?"

  
Hermione, sitting with her arms crossed in front of her on the couch, stood and sighed, hands quickly moving to her hips.

  
"There's _chaos_ in the Great Hall. Apparently Harry's Fangirls-"

  
"Hermione, don't say that like they're mine," Harry argued.

  
"Fine. The Harry Potter Fan Club was at a meeting yesterday. Seems they're more than a little upset about this whole debacle."

  
"Debacle?" Ron said dumbly.

  
"Draco!" Hermione replied. "They've summoned storm clouds over the tables!"

  
Harry stood silently by as some of the Gryffindors turned to stare at him accusingly. Harry bit his lip. _Bloody fangirls, making everything difficult._

  
"Flitwick and Snape have been down there for nearly any hour trying to stop it!" Hermione said.

  
"What about Draco?" Harry asked suddenly.

  
"What about him, mate?" Ron asked.

  
"Is he okay?" Harry blurted. No one answered.

  
"Well he isn't tied to a chair in the center of the Great Hall," Seamus offered. "Anymore, at least."

  
" _Seriously_?" said Harry.

  
"Well, he wasn't tied to the chair. Technically they just threatened to hex his head bald if he moved." Seamus called sheepishly. Harry stood wide eyed at his friends, mouth gaping.

  
"Does anyone know where he is now?" He asked.

  
"Dungeons?" Someone suggested.

  
"Up his own arse?" said someone else.

  
Harry tensed at the few chuckles that followed. _Laughing at Draco being in danger? Doesn't matter. Nope. Actually- why aren't you laughing? Laugh! This is weird!_ Harry thought. He laughed as heartily as he could- too late.

  
"Harry?" Hermione asked. "Why are you laughing?"

  
"I should go look for him," Harry said, escaping through the portrait hole under the gaze of his peers. Hermione shook her head.

  
"Idiots," she mumbled.

  
"What?" asked Ron.

 

 

 

  
Harry sunk down against the wall of the kitchen, sighing. The Great Hall was still in chaos it seemed, though Draco hadn't been there. _Should've grabbed the map... Then I'd have found him already._ It looked like he might have to go back up for it at this rate anyway.

  
"Popular place to hide, isn't it?" Draco asked. Harry looked up.

  
"I've been looking everywhere for you," Harry said, standing. "I heard they threatened to curse you!"

  
" _They_ are just girls Harry."

  
"Girls can be dangerous," Harry countered.

  
"Merlin, I'm not trying to be sexist. The HPFC girls _specifically_ are not dangerous."

  
"Sorry."

  
"It's fine. Just maybe try not to take offense to everything I say?" Draco sighed. Harry's eyebrows knit in concern.

  
"Are you feeling alright? I totally forgot-"

  
"Forgot I made a fool of myself?" Draco sneered.

  
"I-" Harry started, taken aback. He stared at his hands, biting his lip. _You didn't. Make a fool of yourself. You didn't make a fool of yourself. You can be a fool I'm front of me. I was happy to see you so open. I want to see you comfortable again. I want to see you I want to see you I want_

_  
I want you._

  
_Dammit, open your mouth Harry._

  
"I got the crest."

  
"Do you like it?"

  
"It's beautifully made. But I don't speak Latin."

  
"You don't speak Latin, you read it," said Draco. Harry stared back at him dumbly. " _Ne Cede Malis,_ " he sighed. "May evil not lay a hand upon you."

  
 _Perfect_. "Can you really just create a new family crest like that?"

  
"Well no," he said apologetically. "A crest isn't technically active or recognized by the state until a bond is completed."

  
"So it's ours?" Harry said, as he desperately tried to hide his pink cheeks by staring at the ground.

  
"It's ours," Draco replied. He shot a weary glance to the open space beside Harry. "Do you mind-?" Draco motioned vaguely to the spot.

  
"Of course not."

  
"The bond's just-" He added carefully, standing. "A little tight."

  
Harry could feel the warmth from Draco's body- the static electricity between their clothing as they sat staring at the wall across from them.

  
"It's not hurting you, is it?" Harry asked. "I still don't know how this whole bond thing works."  
"It just feels like a hangover-" ( _But he is hungover_ , Harry thought.) "But when we're closer, it's like it just goes away."

  
"Why don't I feel like that? Is it because I'm not bonded to you yet?" _Yet_ , Draco thought deliriously. _Yet, like he plans on getting bonded._

  
"Yes," Draco replied, leaning into him. A small sound left Draco's lips. "It's better when we're closer."

  
"I wish you would've told me sooner, you were alone all morning, weren't you?"

  
Draco shrugged. "It's more of an annoyance than a pain. It'll be better once the bond settles a bit."He paused, gauging Harry's expression. "If it's completed, that is."

  
Harry was quiet, and could feel Draco breathing beside him, the hustle of the kitchen like white static in his ears. _Say something. Tell him. Tell him you'll complete the bond._ "Did you-uh-get a hangover potion from Snape or something?" Harry stuttered.

  
"Pansy brought me one."

  
"Did you have breakfast?"

  
"Potter, it's nearly noon."

  
"Right." They paused for the moment, the silence heavy with things that should have been said  

  
"Harry, it's time I tell you: the bond-" Draco started.

  
" _Boys_ -!" said a shrill voice. A tall woman stepped into the room, eyes alight with cunning. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy."

  
"And you are...?" asked Draco.

  
"Molly Mauve at your service! Public servant, sensational blogger, and lead reporter of Witch Weekly's Potter Progress Report!"

  
Draco snorted. "She's all yours, Potter."

  
"Actually, I'd like to talk to _both_ of you, considering this is a bonding and all." said Molly.

  
"T-They're not supposed to let reporters into the castle," Harry mumbled.

  
"Harry, why have you decided to be bonded to a Death Eater? Do you regret killing He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?"

  
"What? No!"

  
"Wouldn't your parents disapprove? Do you have any qualms about not continuing your family name?"

  
"My parents would want me to be happy," Harry countered.

  
"When will you complete the bond?"

  
"What? I-I don't know."

  
"No further questions, we are entitled to our privacy," said Draco.

  
"What about a picture? A picture for the article?" Mauve pleaded.

  
"I swear I'll hex your lips shut if you don't get out." Draco said calmly. Mauve scurried through the door, glancing back to see Draco with his wand raised. "She's no Rita Skeeter," he said after she had gone. "And you're no good with the press."

  
"No," said Harry.

  
"I would've thought you'd be good at it by now," Draco huffed.

  
"I've only been trying to tell you that for six years."

  
"Six years ago I wasn't aware you were such a dunce."

  
Harry slumped against the walls, eyes glued to Draco. _Not only the HPFC, but the press as well? Merlin._ Harry wasn't sure which of them was worse. _What a terrible woman, loud, sudden and crude. As quickly gone as she was bloody quick getting here._ He wasn't truly sure what he had even told her. His stomach grumbled at the smells wafting from the back of the kitchen.

  
"We should get some food," Harry mumbled.

  
"And then what? Continue hiding out in the kitchen?"

  
Harry shrugged. "What else are we supposed to do?"

  
"What about the Room of Requirement?"

  
"I don't believe we particularly require anything at the moment."

  
"What about a hiding place? Somewhere we can stay together for a little while?" Draco said, his tone hushed.

  
"I-I suppose," Harry replied, eyes wide. "If the bond is uncomfortable, that makes sense. You'll have to open it, though."

  
Draco sighed. "I'll go open it if you get the food."

  
"Deal." Harry said, sounding more sure than he felt.

 

 

 

 

 

  
"You were hungry, yeah?"

  
Draco nodded. "I guess so. Also, these are delicious," he said, slipping yet another cherry between his lips. Harry swallowed ( _I can think of things much more delicious,_ he thought). His hands folded in front of him, eyes on Draco's red stained lips, he desperately reminded himself that he was _totally not, definitely not_ thinking about how his lips would taste if he pulled him in for a kiss. He was also _absolutely not_ entertaining the image of Draco's white-blond hair mussed and fanned across the emerald pillows on the couches.

  
"Harry?" Draco asked. "You okay?"

  
 _No, I am absolutely screwed._ ( _Not the screwed I'd like to be either._ ) "I'm fine."

  
"Look, do you mind if I get closer? The bond feels weird," he complained.

  
 _He knows_. His mind screamed. _You're absolutely done for. He knows._ "Feels weird?" Harry squeaked as Draco moved closer, their thighs touching.

  
"Merlin, could you be any more tense?"

  
"Sorry."

  
Draco snuggled into the crook of his neck, sighing slow. His palm lied open on his thigh, as if waiting for Harry's hand to join it. _Take it._ Harry commanded himself. His hand shook as he placed it on Draco's, eyes squinting as if their sudden joining might cause a massive explosion.   
"Harry," Draco said, jolting from his position.

  
"I'm sorry," Harry shouted, pulling his hand back.

  
"No you idiot, put your hand back."

  
"O-Okay."

  
"I just thought of something," Draco began. "You know me. Whether you think you do or not, and I'm just not the chocolate toads and flowers type all the time."

  
"That's okay," Harry said calmly.

  
"Like now." He smirked.

  
"Now?" Harry echoed.

  
"You should kiss me," Draco said, smirk fading at Harry's inaction. "If you want to, that is."

  
Harry paused. _Kiss him. Just do it._ A voice said. _But I've never kissed a boy before,_  he argued back. Draco looked at him skeptically as he warred internally with himself. "I've never kissed a boy before," he finally blurted. "I mean- I know last night, but it was you that started it and-"

  
"Oh for godsakes," Draco said, pulling Harry's lips down to meet his own. _He's helpless,_ Draco thought slowly. _Adorably, enragingly, helpless._

  
Harry melted into his mouth, thankful for his taking the lead. It was more careful than last night, the sloppiness due to the alcohol, and Harry couldn't decide which he liked more. Then Draco did something particularly ( _What was that word? Delicious?_ ) interesting with his tongue, in which he decided that both were definitely good. Really, very, good.

  
Slender hands slipped into unruly curls, his fingers stroking and pulling the strands. Harry kept his own digits at the base of Draco's back, stroking the skin exposed by his shirt with his nails. Goosebumps raced up Draco's spine, reaching his neck and making him shiver, and he pulled himself closer to Harry, sitting almost in his lap. Harry's fingers itched to pull Draco closer, his mouth steadily growing more bold. Draco drew back, nipping at Harry's bottom lip, eyes hooded.

  
"You okay?" Harry asked.

  
"Of course, you tit."

  
"Tit? Twat."

  
"Shut up," Draco whispered, pulling himself the rest of the way into Harry's lap. "You okay? It's your sexuality crisis."

  
"I'm not having a _crisis_ ," Harry insisted.

  
"Prove it." he challenged.

  
Harry licked his lips and pulled Draco down, slipping his hands into his hair, lips barely touching his. "I will," he mumbled, and crushed their lips together without a second thought.

  
 _Kissing Draco is a lot like fighting him,_ Harry thought. And he wasn't wrong, both of them vying for control as if the building pressure between the two of them might overwhelm them both. Harry ran his tongue boldly along the other boy's lower lip, his fingers twisting the silky strands he had been caressing. Draco groaned at the slight pain, eyes opening wide. A twinge of arousal shot through Harry at the sound.

  
"Pull," Draco said, and Harry complied just slightly. " _Pull_ ," he insisted again. "It's not like I'm going to break, I'm not the Weasley girl." Harry knew that should have made him mad, shouldn't have caused that streak of warmth in his stomach, but he couldn't feel anything except the burning desire to do _more_.

  
He pulled Draco back down, but he just smirked and ghosted his lips over Harry's. He made a desperate noise, _You little shit,_ he thought. _You're going to pay for that._ Harry shifted his hips up into Draco's, hearing his breath hitch as he made contact. There was a pause, and then Draco dragged his hips across Harry's, shifting them down hard.

  
Harry moaned. "Not fair," he mumbled. Draco smirked, and Harry rolled them over, pressing him into the ground. He arched over the blonde, savoring his scowl.

  
"What-" Draco started, and Harry placed his lips on his jaw.

  
His lips dragged along Draco's neck, nipping at the pale skin and turning it pink. Harry played with the hem of his shirt, sliding his fingers under his shirt. He sucked at the space behind his ear, fingertips gliding up his chest. Draco pushed him back, cheeks flushed, breath quick. His pupils were swollen, eyes focused on Harry. "You okay?" Harry asked.

  
"You should stop,"

  
"Why?"

  
"Because you're going to push this farther than you want to go," he gasped.

  
"Really?" Harry said, his hips dipping down.

  
" _Harry_ ," Draco moaned. "You're not even bonded to me yet."

  
"So?"

  
"The _tradition_ -"

  
"Damn tradition," Harry said, leaning down to kiss Draco slow and deep.

  
Draco felt like he was on fire, the warmth of Harry's skin and lips made his breath come quicker. He had waited so long to see Harry like this, his eyes glazed over with pleasure, but this wasn't how he pictured it. _I'm his_ , he thought frantically. _I've always been his, but he isn't mine. Not yet._

  
"Stop," Draco huffed, and Harry stalled, not quite pulling up. "Harry, stop."

  
"Sorry," he mumbled, looking away. He slid back from his stance over Draco, sitting with his knees placed protectively in front of him.

  
"No, you're fine. Good, actually." _Great_ , his mind argued. "It's not that I don't want to-"

  
"It's fine if you don't want to-!" Harry argued.

  
"But I do want to," Draco insisted. "But not till we're bonded."

  
Harry was silent for a moment, his fingers worrying the frayed edge of his robe.

  
"What are you thinking?" Draco asked softly.

  
 _I'm thinking about the fact that you're not a virgin, that you've done things before, but won't do them with me_. "It's fine," he mumbled. _I'm thinking that clearly, I'm missing something here, and you obviously have some reservations about being with me._

  
"There's things you can't understand without the bond- everything's just more, and when we're doing- this type or thing- I don't want to be alone in feeling that."

  
Harry was quiet. _Feels like a trick. Feels like he's going to leave you,_ his mind warned.

  
Draco studied his expression, stomach turning. _He thinks I don't want him, or he's decided not to complete the bond. Why would he?_ All Draco could feel was his overwhelming anxiety, losing a bond mate was painful, and with this damned one sided bond, his anxiety had nowhere to go. How was Harry supposed to know how he was feeling?

  
"I feel like you're going to leave me," Draco blurted. "I feel like you're not going to complete the bond."

  
Harry looked at him curiously, eyes focused on his.

  
"I didn't want to tell you, before, but it hurts- removing a bond. But being in a once sided bond is just uncomfortable," Draco mumbled. His eyes were darting around the room, anywhere but Harry's eyes.

  
"Hey-"

  
"I need time if you're going to call this off. I have to get stronger, have to build up the piece I'll lose-"

  
"Draco-" Harry started.

  
"I don't blame you- I don't, you know so little about all of this, and I basically _forced_ you to make a decision," Draco's hands were raised, as if somehow he could use them to show Harry what he meant.

  
"Malfoy?" he tried, though Draco just talked over him.

  
"It's not your fault that I need you," he said, with so much emotion on his face Harry felt privileged just to see it. "Well, it is your fucking fault, but-"

  
"I'm going to complete the bond," Harry said urgently. "As soon as I can."

  
He heard Draco take a deep breath, eyes finally settled onto his own.

  
"Merlin," he said, finally smiling. "Why didn't you say so?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Harry face some new problems. Narcissa visits Hogwarts. Preparations are made for the gift of Gratitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late, and so short! If you're still reading let me know with a kudos or a comment!  
> Thanks for putting up with me!

Hermione dropped her books on the table in front of Ron and Harry, eyeing them warily as her hands fell to her hips. She glanced behind her and leaned into them, looking intensely annoyed.

  
"So you haven't bonded to Draco yet," she stated.

  
"Not yet," Harry replied, just as the word 'what?' fell from Ron's mouth. "I'm working on it." Harry finished.

  
"Bonding with Malfoy?" Ron asked loudly.

  
"Shh!" Hermione exclaimed.

  
"He tried to kill you!" Ron insisted, voice lowered.

  
"To be fair, I tried to kill him too."

  
"And you want to bloody bond with him!"

  
"He's a different person," Harry said weakly.

  
"He may not be evil, but he's still a tit!"

  
"Boys!" Hermione shouted. The boys turned to her. "Draco's in the hospital wing."

  
Harry felt his heart beat faster at her words, his stomach felt heavy and his chest tight. "Is he okay?"

  
"He's fine. He passed out during Potions."

  
"What? Why?"

  
Ron was following their banter, looking confused and slightly frightened.

  
"You must be joking," Hermione sighed. Harry stared at her dumbly. "The bond, Harry! An unfinished bond is dangerous!"

  
"Draco never said anything about it being dangerous, just uncomfortable."

  
"An unfinished bond can kill a wizard Harry! They've exposed a piece of their-" Hermione paused, eyes unsure.

  
"Their what?" Harry said. "No one will answer. What is it?"

  
"His soul, Harry. Breaking a bond takes a piece of someone's soul!"

  
"What, like a dementor?"

"No... Just a piece of a soul, not the whole thing. You can survive the breaking of a bond, as long as you're prepared."

  
"I'm not going to break the bond with Draco," Harry insisted. "I'm preparing to finish it, and I promise I'll do it soon."

  
"You don't have much time," said Hermione.  
"What can I do to keep him feeling all right until I can complete it?"

  
"As worried as I am about Draco, that's not what I'm worried about," Hermione said hesitantly.

  
"Then what—?"

  
"Narcissa Malfoy is coming to Hogwarts," Hermione said. "And she's convinced that the best thing for Draco is removing the bond."

 

 

Harry stood in the door of the infirmary, trying to build up the courage to enter the room. He could hear the murmuring of voices behind the closed curtains around what had to be Draco's cot. Narcissa had beaten him here.

  
Hermione stood at his left, arms clutching a pile of books and papers for Draco. She lingered awkwardly off his shoulder, anxious for the interaction to come. Hermione took a deep breath. "For goodness sake Harry!" She said, exasperated.

  
"I'm going!" Harry mumbled. He shuffled toward the cot reluctantly, Hermione not far behind him.

  
"I need to talk to Madame Pomfrey," Hermione said quickly, and turned away just before they reached the curtains.

  
"It'll be worth it," Draco said, behind the curtain.

  
"I do hope this all works out," Narcissa replied.

  
Silence for a moment before: "I can see the edge of your robes, Harry." said Draco.

  
Blood rose to Harry's cheeks as he stepped through the curtains, his eyes meeting those of the cross looking boy in the bed. "Hello," Harry said.

  
"Took you quite awhile to get here," Draco mumbled.

  
"Would you like a moment, Draco?" said Narcissa.

"You're welcome to stay," Draco offered. Narcissa shook her head.

  
"I'll return, I wanted to speak to Madame Pomfrey."

Draco nodded and Narcissa rose from her place at the bottom of the bed. Harry stood awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. _Think fast, Harry._ He thought. _You're sorry. You are very very sorry._

  
"I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner," Harry said slowly.

  
"I'd be more upset if I didn't feel like such utter bollocks," he paused. "So just come here."

  
"Your mother is coming back soon..."

  
"I feel like the first time I ever apparated, Harry."

  
Harry winced at the memory. "But your mother—"

  
"I don't care," Draco sighed. "Right now I just need you to make my head hurt less."

  
Harry paused and sighed, adjusting so he could sit at the head of the bed with Draco. Draco grabbed his hand, moaning at the initial contact. Harry felt blood rush into his cheeks, as well as a stirring in his stomach at the sound.

  
"That's better," Draco said, turning to Harry. "You look like I'm about to torture you."

  
Harry shrugged, and Draco's face fell almost imperceptibly.

  
"Did you change your mind?" He asked.

  
"No," Harry replied.

  
"What is it?"

  
"I wish you would have told me. About the soul thing."

  
"Oh," said Draco.

  
"If I would've known, I wouldn't have let this happen. I just wish I knew sooner."

  
"I just— I didn't want you to be afraid of this because of that."

  
"I would've still wanted to bond with you, I would've just been more careful about it." Harry said quietly.

  
"Such a softy," Draco scoffed, and shifted over so he was half laying on Harry's chest.  
Harry shifted down so that Draco's head fell into the curve of his neck, bending his own head so his nose was nestled in Draco's hair. He's safe and sarcastic, which probably means he's okay. And thank Godric for that. "You smell like man perfume, you know."

  
"Cologne?" Draco said, smiling.

  
"Shut up, I couldn't think of the word."

  
Draco's free arm wrapped around Harry's side protectively, and he tilted his head up to press his lips briefly to Harry's. When he moved back, Harry's hand found its way into his hair, playing with the short strands.

  
"Does your mother hate me?" Harry asked. Draco made a noncommittal noise.

  
"She just wants me to be happy. After the war, after my father, she wants all the happiness she can muster up."

  
"I'd like her to not hate me, I think."

  
"She won't."

  
"What about the whole blood-purity issue?"

  
"Once I told her I was gay it didn't really matter anymore. I could have a heir to a woman, but that was father's plan for me, not my own."

  
"You don't want children?" Harry asked, timidly. His hand paused on Draco's head.

  
"Do you?"

  
Harry shrugged. "I think I'd like to have one or two, there are orphans from the war after all."

  
"I want to have children too," Draco replied softly. Harry smiled at the admission. He'd make a good father, Draco thought, much better than mine.

  
"You two are just adorable!" said a voice suddenly. Narcissa stepped through the curtains. "Adorable!" Her pale complexion lit up, her eyes bright in the afternoon light.

  
Harry shifted away from Draco, a touch of anxiety in his eyes.

  
"Oh stay where you are," Narcissa insisted. "You're soon to be bond-mates! You shouldn't make Draco wait much longer, mind you."

  
"Of course not," Harry replied.

  
"I'm so excited to help plan the bonding ceremony!"  
"Bonding ceremony?"

  
"The bond-mates take their last set of vows on front of all their friends and family," Narcissa said.

  
"Well, it's slightly more complicated than that," Draco mumbled.

  
"I'm sure you can discuss the more intimate details at a later date."

  
"Is a bonding ceremony like a muggle wedding?" asked Harry.

  
"A wedding? With the cake and the white mess?" Draco asked. "I won't wear white, it makes me look terribly pale."

  
"White mess?" Harry echoed, glancing at Draco in confusion. "A wedding dress?"

  
"I don't know," Draco replied. "Muggle traditions aren't my specialty."

  
Harry smiled. "Would it be okay to have some muggle traditions at the ceremony? It's really quite similar to a wedding to begin with."

  
Narcissa's brows furrowed, her face skeptical. "Some of my relations may not approve of muggle traditions at a pureblood wedding."

  
"I'm not a pureblood," Harry stated, somewhat timid.

  
"I know, darling," Narcissa said.

  
"And I don't really particularly care what they think," said Draco.

  
"Then a wedding it will be!" She said brightly. "Harry, you look like an autumn, am I correct?"

  
"I was born in July." Harry replied. Draco rolled his eyes.

  
"I'll check and owl you first thing tomorrow," he said. "Style and color are not among his very few strengths."

  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Git."

  
"What? I'm trying to help!"

  
"Feel better, dear," she said, looking oddly satisfied with the exchange between her son and Harry. "Take care of my boy, Harry."

  
"Will do."

  
The curtains open and shut before Draco shifted up to look at Harry once more, smiling. "She likes you."

  
"Are you sure?"

  
"My mother doesn't offer to plan things often Potter, but when she does, it's not for people she doesn't like. But it probably helps that she heard us talk about potential grandchildren," Draco confessed.

  
"Does she want them terribly?" asked Harry.

  
"She was only able to have me," Draco answered, shrugging. "Can't really be helped. I

always wanted a sibling too."

  
"I lived with my cousin," Harry mumbled. "He was almost like a brother." But terrible.

  
"I'm sure you both lived in muggle luxury, whatever that could be."

  
"We lived in a small house, but we both had our own rooms." Well Dudley had two, and I had a cupboard and then a hand-me-down.

  
"Did you live with his parents then? Do you miss them?"

  
"Merlin no," said Harry, without thinking. "Well, I did live with his parents, I don't really miss them."

  
"Really? I thought you would."

  
Harry was silent. So Draco never knew about his childhood. Just think of the insults he missed out on. Someday soon he would tell him about it, but not today. It wasn't that important anyway.

  
"Should we invite them to the ceremony? They know about magic, don't they?"

  
Harry shook his head. "They hate magic. I was punished for using it accidentally when I was young." Shut up, Harry.

  
"You're kidding," Draco mumbled. "Magic is always out of control when wizards are kids."  
"It's just how they were."

  
"Why would they—"

  
"Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter." Pomfrey said, ducking through the curtains. "Are you ready to be released?"

  
"I believe I am," Draco stammered, thrown off guard.

  
"I'll check your vitals one last time if you don't mind," she said. "Mr. Potter, would you wait outside? You two should try to stay in close proximity for today, just in case. One more night here should be enough, Mr. Malfoy."

  
Draco glanced at Harry, unsure. "I'll wait outside then." Harry said.

  
The boy in the bed thought he could almost feel the bond stretching as Harry ducked threw the curtains; his breath grew shallow and chest tight. Something in him urged that he go with Harry, no matter what Pomfrey had asked.

  
"Ready?" Pomfrey asked. Draco nodded dimly. Pomfrey went through the motions, checking his heart rate, reflexes, and breathing. Draco sighed as she took her wand from where she had set it on the bedside table. "If you could just cast a simple spell so we can check that everything is working properly, I'd appreciate it. Any spell you know wandlessly is fine."

  
"Wingardium Leviosa," Draco murmured, lifting the cup placed beside him. Pomfrey waved her wand, quickly and wordlessly ending the spell.

  
"Thank you, Mr. Malfoy. You're free to go, just please stay close to Mr. Potter until your bond settles."

  
"How long will that be?"

  
"A bond usually settles about fifteen days after completion."

  
"How close do we need to be?" Draco asked slowly.

  
"I'd advise you both to be in the same room for at least twelve hours a day, but the more contact you make, the more time you will be able to spend apart. I know that will be difficult, considering your separate houses as well as schedules, but the Headmistress has agreed to make some special allowances for your particular situation."

  
"Allowances?"

  
"For the time being, you and Harry will be sharing a room," Pomfrey said.

  
"And where would we be doing that?" Draco scoffed.

  
"Well, there are plenty of rooms open in the all the towers due to the students who declined to return this year."

  
"I'm not sure that's the best thing for us..."

  
"You won't have a choice for much longer. Better to start early. I don't want to see you or Mr. Potter in here again."

 

 

Hermione was waiting in the doorway when Harry emerged from the drapes surrounding Draco's cot.

  
"How's he feeling? You probably shouldn't be apart for long," said Hermione.

  
"Pomfrey's just checking his vitals before he leaves."

  
"I'm almost glad this happened," she started. "I don't think you realize how harmful a one-sided bond can be."

  
"Hermione, I know important it is, I just don't know what to give him. I can't think of anything that would be— well, enough."

  
"Well what does he care about? What's important enough to gain your entrance into the bond?"

  
"He likes quidditch. Me, apparently. He's always eating sweet rolls," Harry said, uncertain.

  
"What does he fear? Regret? Just think harder, you'll figure something out. You always do."

  
"I'm not romantic, I'm just going to mess it up."

  
"Well, you know this needs to be an important exception. But he did choose you. This is about you choosing him," she said quietly.

  
Naturally, the thing he's most nervous about. Harry thought, his mind helpfully offering memories of Draco asking 'Have you changed your mind?' and 'I feel like you're going to leave me.'. If he could give anything to Draco, he would want to give him certainty.

Certainty that what he wanted was what Harry wanted too.

  
But if he was going to pull that off, he'd need a few favors.

  
"Hermione," he mumbled. "I need a favor."

  
"Does it involve breaking the school rules?"

  
Harry nodded his head, his smile twisting into a grimace. Hermione groaned.

  
"Is it for Draco?" she asked. Harry nodded again.

  
"It's not exactly material, but it is a gift of sorts."

  
Hermione sighed. "Fine."

  
"Why are you suddenly all for this bonding?" Draco asked, staring at his mothers face in the fire. _Because if you have an ulterior motive, I swear to Salazar you'll never see Harry again._

  
"I know when my son is in love," she answered. "It's in your voice when you speak to him, your eyes when you look away— nothing is more precious, and nothing is more elusive."

  
"What are you saying?"

  
"I'm saying that your wedding will be beautiful, as will the life you'll lead together. You're going to be so happy, Draco."

  
"I am happy," Draco said, and it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a couple minor tweaks so I could write chapter four the way I wanted to! Just wanted to let you guys know. 
> 
> Much love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second Gift, Night Quidditch¿
> 
> More coming to this chapter later today/tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile guys! I've been working on a few other things, including another Harry/Draco piece called Skin Deep featuring Pansy and Luna! 
> 
> Thanks for being so patient.

Draco awoke to whispers outside the curtains surrounding his bed and reached for where his wand on the bedside table, his hand meeting nothing but empty space. _Right_ , Draco thought. _No wand._ He had bought another at the beginning of the year, but it didn't work the same as his first wand, causing him to often leave it behind in the dorms. The hair on his neck stood on end, and the shuffling outside finally came to a stop.

  
"Draco? Are you awake?"

  
"Harry?" he hissed. A mop of dark brown hair popped though the curtains, green eyes meeting his own. "What the hell are you doing here?"

  
"It's a surprise."

  
Draco looked at him skeptically. "I don't really like surprises."

  
"It's a good surprise," Harry insisted. The boy just stared at him. "C'mon."

  
Draco sighed and swung his legs to the side of the bed. He ran a hand through his hair, eyes still bleary with sleep. The white pajamas typical to the hospital ward hung limply off his steep shoulders. "I don't have any shoes."

  
"Bugger," Harry mumbled, eyes fixed on Draco's pale feet. "Do you know the transfiguration spell?"

  
"Why would I need to know how to transfigure shoes?"

  
Harry shrugged. "I'm pretty sure we learned it in Transfiguration at some point."

  
"McGonagall teaches Transfiguration, and I'm not overly fond of your Head of House."

  
Harry rolled his eyes, and turned, sitting just beside Draco on the bed. "Hop on."

  
"What?"

  
"You don't know what a piggyback ride is?"

  
"Of course I do, git!" Draco whispered furiously. "What makes you think I'll get on your back?"

  
"Might have been the snogging, maybe the—"

  
"Merlin, fine!" Draco wound his arms around Harry's neck, shifting over to sit behind him. "You better not drop me."

  
"Please, you're not eight stone wet."

  
The blond boy mumbled something incoherent, and Harry hooked his arms under his knees, grunting as he stood. He could feel Harry's warmth seeping through his thin nightshirt, and his head drooped to rest on one of Harry's shoulders.

  
"How far are we going?"

  
"Just down the hall."

  
Draco yawned and shoved his head further into the curve of Harry's neck as they shuffled down the hallway in the silence. Draco could feel Harry's voice rumble when he said 'This is it', just before he was gently lowered from his back. Harry took his hand and led him toward a covered stairway just ahead.

 

"Please tell me you're not taking me to the headmaster's office."

  
"Just like old times, huh?"

  
Draco scowled momentarily and pulled back on Harry's hand. "Come on, please tell me we're not breaking in to _McGonagall's office._ "

  
"Just trust me."

  
"The boy who lived, always getting me in trouble."

  
"Getting _you_ in trouble?" Harry said in mock outrage. He smiled down at Draco, one hand braced on the door the office, and other still clutching Draco's. _I really need to do something special for Hermione. She really put her neck out getting the door set up._ Harry thought."Ready?"

  
"I told you I don't like surprises," Draco warned, but Harry could see the hint of a smile on his face as he turned away. Harry pushed the door open, and light flooded out from inside the room.

  
"Candles?" Draco mumbled, sounding doubtful.

  
Harry smiled sheepishly. "Just come on."

  
There were no candles, but from the back right corner of the office a bright ethereal light flooded from the open doors of a cabinet and toward them. As they drew closer they could see the slight mist rolling off the edge of a large ornamental bowl.

  
"Is that a _Pensieve_?" Draco asked.

  
"You've seen one before?"

  
"Just heard of them. Never guessed there would be one at Hogwarts." Draco leaned into the cabinet, peering into the luminescent swirling. The light made his eyes look even more blue. Harry lifted a hand onto Draco's shoulder, and he turned to look back at him.

  
"There's a reason I brought you here, of course."

  
"And what would that be?"

  
Harry drew his wand and pressed it to his temple, focusing on the memory he needed to retrieve. Draco watched transfixed as he drew his hand back, the silvery-blue strand of a memory following his wand. "I wanted you to see this. It's— important."

  
Where the strand touched the water it turned black, dripping thick into the bowl like ink. "So I just—" Draco started, his head nearing the surface of the pensieve. Harry nodded, his chest tight.

  
When Draco's face touched the coolness of the pensieve, images began to materialize before his eyes. He saw himself sitting with his head leaned against the wall of the kitchen, frowning, but with an uncharacteristic lightness in his face he had never seen before. It was so strange to see yourself through someone else's eyes.

  
Draco watched himself turn toward Harry, mumbling "Forgot I made a fool of myself?" A flash of something dark crossed his face, the frown growing deeper. Then Draco heard Harry's voice like a whisper at the back of his head.

  
" _You didn't. Make a fool of yourself. You didn't make a fool of yourself. You can be a fool in front of me. I was happy to see you so open. I want to see you comfortable again. I want to see you I want to see you I want— I want you. Dammit, open your mouth Harry._ "

  
Draco felt warmth slowly filling his chest. Harry wanted him. _Harry_ wanted _him_. He had doubted it for so long, wanted it so badly— but somehow even after they agreed to the bond he couldn't allow himself to believe it.

  
This was Harry's gift.  
_Certainty_.

**Author's Note:**

> Will update as much as I can! About every 10 days I think. Definitely a new chapter by Tuesday!
> 
> Edit One: Things have gotten crazy... I really want to continue this but it's going to be more like an update a month... Really sorry. 
> 
> Thank you guys for your support!


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